Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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