I wannas sexs uuuuu
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
