dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
