we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
