I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
