The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sext me about skeletons
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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