so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
