We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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