going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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