Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
