Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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