She said her name was "party"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize