just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
