I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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