she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
