so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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