Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
