Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
my poor anus
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
