It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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