Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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