Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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