it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
