you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
