I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
