Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
