Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize