My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
