Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
