exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
