It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
