kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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