i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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