Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize