During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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