I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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