I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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