yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
