Its about making memories worth repressing
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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