i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
