Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
