discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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