Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
