The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
