with your own penis?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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