so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
