My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
