Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
