you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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