if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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