Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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