Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
In other news, I just burned my penis
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
