no, he came in my armpit
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
