He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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