You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
