I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
only if we run a train.
done.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
