She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize