mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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