i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
