:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
