Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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