I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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