sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize