Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
