The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
