I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
