He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
