He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
